That Time I told the Class I Forgot How to Divide - or, You Can Handle Embarrassment

 I told the Youthquake kids - and others - this story last year; I hope they'll forgive me for repeating it. I will take it in a different direction than I did then, though.

Yeah, I know, I haven't told you, dear readers, what Youthquake is. I will eventually, but I want to get more readers first. If most of my readers are from there, then there's no need.

Anyway, it's my first day of 6th grade, I go up to the chalkboard (do classrooms even have boards of any type now? Hint: Comment to let me know.) I was the kid who usually had the right answers, and always volunteered first. I went up to demontrate division...

...and I drew a blank. I told Mr. Vrsan, my teacher, that I had forgotten how to divide.

He told me to just stick to it - he knew I knew how to do it. And, after a moment, it came to me.

I didn't touch on the embarrassment factorwhen I used this illustration last time. I don't get embarrassed. When the cafeteria cheered if I dropped something, I took a bow like I was thanking them for cheering me. And so on. My readers then were the kind to have the same faith I had, or at least to get out in front of something.

Some of you, though, might ask, "How can that be? I could never admit that in public; I can hardly go up to the board and do stuff." (Or, maybe you're wondering what these chalkboards are this goofy blogger's talking about.) You find it hard to even try.

And, that's okay. We're all different. Some like me, the teacher has to tell they've "quizzed out for the week" on Tuesday to force other students to have to participate. :-) Others are glad for the ones like me because it is a struggle just to raise your hand

Self-talk

Self-talk is what we tell ourselves. Have you ever seen someone mouth the words "I can do this" or maybe pause as if they're rehearsing in their minds, frozen. (That is, they are frozen - although I guess if they're trying to forget the stress they could have the movie playing in their minds. :-) )

What they are doing is "self talk." (Or silently singing "Let It Go.") Self talk is what you say to yourself and ab out yourself. It is usually subconscious. Sometimes you can notice or even control it - like that person who mouths the words "I can do this." But, often it's in the back of your mind.

I don't remember what I thought as I admitted I couldn't divide. But, Mr. Vrsan was basically encouraging positive self-talk. He probably didn't know that's what it was called. But, since he'd lived through the brutal occupation of his native Czechoslovakia in World War Two(!) before fleeing to the U.S. in 1947 to escape the Communists(!!), he certainly knew a thing or two about the importance of staying positive and pushing forward to get things done. His self-talk was probably all about overcoming and refusing to be defeated. While he was always nice in my view, he could have a bit of an attitude - maybe we'll come back to that in a future post about understanding others. Let's just say that he accepted and encouraged those who admitted they had problems like I did that day.

Anyway, back to self-talk, one of the keys to overcoming is reminding yourself things will be okay. You might or might not remember some incident years later. (I was going to write that you likely wouldn't, then I realized what I led off with and started laughing at myself.) But, it won't be important. In fact, you'll probably be using it, if the Lord tarries, to help someone else.

B ut, how does that help you deal with it now?

It's okay to be imperfect

There will always be someone better than you at something. There will also always be someone worse than you at something.

It doesn't mae sense to compare yourself to others. I don't have the top baseball pitcher's 100-mile per hour fastball. Bob Feller could probably throw harder than me - and he's dead! Okay, seriously, he lobbed the ball up tot he plate in his late 80s! He *might* have thrown as well as me then.

How we compare to others isn't important, because we're not them. Remember that verse I mentioned in the first post? "You are fearfully and wonderfully made"? You can love chocolate more than anyone else in the world, yet you wouldn't compare it to a new car, right? Why? Because you don't eat cars. Babies put toy cars in their mouths, but you don't, right? Okay, I just know some silly commenter will share how they did, but let's get real. Cars are meant to be real cool, impress friends, and get you places while making you feel like you have a hole in your wallet with all that gas money you spend. Chocolate is supposed to taste real cool, impress your taste buds, and make you not care how much you spend becasue it tastes so good!

Just as you wouldn't compare chocolate to a car, what sense does it make to compare yourself to someone who might have a totally different home life than you, have totally different struggles in life, and have totally different skills?

Important self-talk - "I don't have to be like them"

Of course, getting back to the story, it's important to know how to divide when you go up to the board. (Providing you have a board to write on.) It's important to develop skills like spelling, simple math, and so on so you can succeed in life.

But, being like everyone else rather than standing out isn't important. Everyone stands out in some way. We're all shaped a bit different, have different colred hair or eyes, wear different clothes, like different music, etc..

When I stood up there and said, "I forgot how to divided," I didn't care if anyone laughed at me. Why? My focus was on remembering how to divide and getting a little hint if someone could help me. Mr. Vrsan was wise enough to know - even our first day - I was the kind who needed to be reminded that I knew how. He might not have remembered I was a Math Olympics champ in division the previous year (you weren't expecting that, were you?). But he did know I needed to figure out what kind of self-talk to use. Specifically, I needed to hear "I can do this."

Some of you need more help than just to start saying, "I can do this." You can certainly e-mail thetruthmatters1 at gmail dot com, but you can also find people to talk to about spiritual things like I mentioned before at gqkidz.org or Godlife.com. You can (hopefully) find people in your own life who care; if not your family, a friend's family or youth leader or teacher or counselor.

Just find someone who will encourage you.

The problem is that we spend so much time tearing others - and ourselves - down instead of building up. John 10:10 shows Jesus saying, "The thief (the devil) cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy, but I am come that they might have life and life more abundantly."

Yes, Jesus wants to give you something better than what you have. And, that's important self talk right there. You can remind yourself you don't have to be what you used to be when you know HIm. You can put aside all the fake stuff, all the drama that tore you down.

You can have abundant life by letting God live in you and guide you. He wants to free all of us from these problems of life by giving us new life. One where we won't need to worry if we suddenly forget how to divide or something else weird happens. Because we will be secure knowing that stuff doesn't matter anymore, because our focus is on the eternal.

And that is the best self-talk we can have, when we are letting Jesus guide us. We know we're not perfect, so why not let one who is guide us?