Adulting Part 1 - Making Wise Choices, Using Godly Discernment

 Society pushes us to do stuff, but God wants us to trust Him for each decision and says not to lean on our own understanding of things.(Prov. 3:5-6) 

Some are easy – you might like chicken or burgers better, though with prices lately we might be consigned to vegetables soon. 😊 Some are harder due to logistics – where to live or work. Some are less important spiritually – like what color outfit you like – while some are more important – like friends and where to hang out. Canton Baptist’s Aug. 28th sermon is online, and it’s excellent to help you consider the right friends and how to stand up to a friend who is making poor decisions. Give it a listen if you haven’t.

It's all on a spectrum, of course, but let’s look at adulting like you’d see a 4-corner graph (Okay, non-math people, do a collective Ewwww! 😊) with divisions of easy versus hard and less or more important spiritually. And, keep in mind how to trust God to help you with each of these – yes, even in the easy ones you can praise Him.

Easy/Important Spiritually: Once you know Jesus as Saviour, He is able to keep you from falling.(Jude 24) Nothing can separate you from His love(Rom. 8:38-39), and you are sealed with His Holy Spirit of promise.(Eph. 1:13-14, 4:30)

1 Cor. 6:12 is also a great assurance verse – “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient; all things are lawful unto me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” We are saved from our sins forever, and written in Jesus’ Book of Life. Yet, a wise follower of Jesus won’t let anything but God’s loving Spirit control them. So, the question is if it is more or less expedient. But I already threw you a graph, did you really want a big word when “more or less important spiritually” works?😊)

This is where our attitude comes in.  At first, attitude might seem neutral, but when you consider how a negative attitude controls you, you can see it’s vital to have a positive one. Being thankful, helping others, being an ambassador for Christ so people want to trust Jesus to save them, all these things go into that.

So, yes, the decision to worship regularly, stay in God’s Word, pray, give, etc. are all part of growth, but spiritual growth is about more than just that.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy to do them. It just means the decision is easy since it agrees with God’s Word. We all have times we struggle & need a friend to talk to or shoulder to cry on. Part of that is – instead of having a bad attitude – admitting “I’m frustrated because of ‘x’ and I need your help, Lord.” Look how often the Psalms start with a person who is really down and discouraged and end with them praising God.

Other habits are also easy choices but hard to get out of. With some things – like alcohol – the choice to never start is far easier than stopping. So, especially if you have family who have had trouble, and even if not, the best choice is never to start. Besides, we talked about wise financial planning, and it’s way cheaper to just drink water or fruit juice.

Other things, our life experiences, make it hard – flashbacks to trauma or just how God built us means panic attacks can happen, for instance. God will see us through things, though, and help us overcome - He has overcome the world.(John 16:33) He lives inside each believer. Is anything too hard for Him? If He lives in your heart, can anything stop Him? Of course not, He’s all-powerful. Keep praying & trusting; He will give you ways to overcome. He’ll use others, His Word, sermons, lots of things. If He knows you’re desperate for a sign, don’t be shocked if He gives you a jumbotron – but if He does, be ready to thank Him for the answer and follow it.

I shared in one of these how some families fall into generational patterns of problems. Yet, anyone can be determined to break such a pattern – and by relying on God to do it, they can.

Easy/Not as Important Spiritually: We won’t spend long on these. Some boil down to men versus women. There are exceptions, but more often men find buying something easy; go in, get what you want, and leave. Women may shop more. Then again, now a woman can know just what wrench to get at the hardware store on Youtube. You can find out how to fix anything there short of the Browns’ poor decision-making the last 15 years. (Unless you count stories of much more competent franchises.)

Other times, stress makes it harder to do things which are normally easy.

We can ease some stress by not watching news or cutting off social media. Other stress is eased by doing things like paying bills on time and staying out of debt. Not so much if part of your body acts 80 and you’re 20. Or your car gets a built-in HAL9000. (Some forego cars and just ride bikes, but again, count the cost; a drivers’ license at least is a wise move.)

Adulting is hard. However, God will be with you to see you through everything, all the stresses as well as all the joys.

Hard Decisions: Look, with hard decisions if I say “Less important” it’ll sound like an oxymoron. The disciple said as much in their prayer in Acts 1 when asking God to show who should take Judas’ place as an Apostle. The guy they rejected still did great work for the Lord. There was a right decision, it was hard, but if they rushed into it without picking the right one, it wasn’t like Judas was one of the choices.

So, let’s focus the rest of the time on things you might stress most over as your formal education winds down. Even if you still have more years, if the Lord delays you’ll be in the same position. (Some say Christians want to take over the world, but we don’t want it – our home is in Heaven. We’ll return with Jesus when He reclaims the world. In the meantime, you can tell people all this climate stuff & other problems are in Revelation – and they need to get right with God and trust Christ as Saviour now.)

Where to Live: If we’re not careful, we act on emotion. A CBT bus driver shared how that often ends up in disaster. A rider years ago met someone who soon after said he needed a place to stay. She let him sleep on her couch. She had a wad of cash in her room. He and it were gone early the next morning. You likely facepalmed even before you heard what happened, but it shows why friends to offer wise counsel are vital, as is the ability to offer others Biblical help, to keep friends safe. That’s why that August 28th message is so helpful.

You’ll say “That’s an easy decision – don’t do that!” But a Youthquake mom years ago a had a guy with her for months before he took off with her car. Godly wisdom is vital in how and where to live and who to allow into your lives; the Holy Spirit knows what’s best. (Another reason why not to quench it – quenching it can be the first step to grieving the Spirit.) See why we’re warned not to live with someone till marriage? A guy’s less likely to just steal your car if he committed himself to you and you’ve known him for years.

So, if you can stand it, don’t feel you have to move. Pray for God’s perfect plan. I waited & a neighbor moved into a nursing home & I got 1st dibs on her house; I’d never rent, but if you do check out the landlord & everything, maybe your family loves yours & your landlord has a place opening up. Remember, God knows the future. Trust Him when He closes & opens doors for you, make sure it’s His leading, and build those networks so you can have the opportunities when God opens the right doors for you. 

This is true with the city, too. Lots more research needs done if you move – cost of living is just one thing. Some of you might love the outdoors and choose to be a farmer – but just raising chickens takes lots of effort. So, talk to people,  don’t just text; learn all you can & let the Spirit guide you. As we said about stress and anxiety, many mistakes can be prevented by staying away from the worst places; It’s less likely that mom would have brought that guy in who took her car if she hadn’t been in an awful neighborhood.

The Right Job: Make sure you feel fulfilled, but don’t think your first job has to be your only one. I mentioned to others Bolon’s Custom Kitchen is way backed up and could use good workers. You can learn on the job. Things like that are great summer jobs for high schoolers. But don’t think you have to stick with that.

College isn’t for everyone – if you’re led to go, fine, but trade schools (plumbing, heating & cooling/electrical, etc.) are always in demand. Again, make sure it’s not a place that will drag you away from Him; one major problem with college if you’re not careful. That great preacher Spurgeon said “If God calls you to be a preacher, don’t stoop to being a king.” Whatever God’s calling is on your life, trust Him to guide you in the right steps.

Don’t settle for something that takes you and your family away from Him. Psalm 1, 84:10, Matt. 6:19-21, & many other verses show we must focus on our Heavenly reward and not worry about treasure on Earth that wn’t last anyway.

Adulting, whether you’re 8 months or 8 years away, is best with habits that start now. Live for the Lord. Find ways to serve Him. Follow His ways & let Him guide you. Use Godly principles to stay away from the world’s dangers. And, humbly help friends follow His paths & don’t let them sway you away from Him. Find friends who help keep you on the right path and be humble in accepting Godly counsel. Then, you and they can help that one who has trouble. I was handing out tracts in NYC in 2002 on the street, 1 of 4 women walking & talking took it. I tried to give one to another of them and she said “You gave it to the right one.” They were probably a group of friends trying to help this one person.

God knows you, so let Him guide you away from stress. Maybe you aren’t meant to be on social media, maybe you can handle it. Maybe, like me for the last 20 years, it’s best if you don’t follow the news – when it’s 24/7 it can become too much.   Just checking on a few Christian forums is enough for me.

And, if you’ve messed up, God is always there to welcome you back with open arms. 1 John 1:9 promises if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just for forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

When you know Jesus Christ and follow Him, He’ll guide you to the right career, place to live, friends (I don’t include marriage because future spouses should develop a strong friendshipanyway, as well as what I say about looking at each other & asking “Would I like this person when we’re 90 and all our body parts are failing or falling out?), etc.; God will help you do what the world calls networking, but through His loving Spirit, so you can be in the safest place – the center of His will. As Jer. 29:11 says, He knows the thoughts He thinks toward you, of peace and not evil, to give you an expected end. Life is hard. But, God is good.