God's Agape Love, Drawing Closer to Him

  Remember the word for brotherly love? Phileos is a BFF love. It can cause confusion if we’re not careful – and not just because Philadelphia fans are known to boo a lot. 😊

God’s love is agape love. It’s unconditional, lasts forever, and never dies down. It was always there - before we knew Him. (1 John 4:8, 19) In club we learned Sturgeos is family love. A couple won’t love unconditionally when they first meet; this is why we need to wait before even thinking of marriage, till we know the person. Eros is the physical kind. It can make us think we love someone – but we can have the same feelings about baseball, pizza, or our favorite movie. Because it has no depth.

Here is where the kinds of love can confuse people. Our heart should be part of phileos love. And, when a boy and girl are attracted to each other, if God means it to be, then a true friendship will form. But we can’t rely only on our hearts, or it is just eros love. And yet, we can’t just rely on a computer model that tells us when we are friends. That’s like the Pharisees with their strict adherence to law with no compassion for others.

This is why we must rely on God and not go too far one way or the other.

In this year’s World Series, many complained because a starting pitcher was taken out of the game while doing super. The computers said it was the right move because he was about to go through the team’s order for a third time. But even his opponents, the Dodgers, said it was the wrong move. They were *so* glad to see him leave. Right after he left, the Dodgers scored 2 runs off the Rays’ best reliever. They got another run later and won 3-1. One writer said, “the game is losing fans because in games like this, even the manager doesn’t watch. He just looks at a computer.” We can’t just plug everything into a computer.

The key is that the other senses confirmed that leaving him in was the right move. It was not a guy who was doing really badly but you want him to finish even if he can’t pitch anymore. Doing that takes it back to eros love. Relying only on feelings. Feelings can change or even be downright inaccurate if we convince ourselves of something that is false.

The Bible tells the whole truth about Jesus as our Saviour and friend. It also guides us in how to know if others are friends. The old slogan “friends don’t let friends drive drunk” is true of any sin, for instance. Real friends don’t lead us to sin. We may want to help them like I shared about P. That’s different than becoming like someone. And, over time, we become like those we hang around. That can be good, like my friend Don was so shy before meeting our mutual friend Rick, who helped him break out of his shell. Even with non-Christians, I helped Sander a lot and he finally got saved! He was a great influence because he always behaved well, treated others with love, etc.. But others can be bad influences if we’re not careful.

So, hanging out with Jesus through prayer, Bible reading, etc. will help you be more like Him. It’s trickier because we still have our sin nature. But, He will help you be more like Him as you let Him. When He says we shall be known by our love(John 13:35), that means we should be known by how we care about others. It’s something others should be able to see, hear, etc.. Just like you can tell Sander’s love for his mother – a widow for 22.5 years – by how he treats her, helps her with tigns, etc.. His change since he trusted Jesus is more internal. (He needs prayer to have more faith, as that’s something he struggles with.)

We don’t get to see friends as much – I hope you do some. They will feel our prayers when we pray for them, though. God will work in their hearts and lives. Sal and I certainly need your prayers and feel them when you pray. But, we should also pray so when we do get out and do more, we have wisdom for who to hang around, and choose the right people. Sure, if you know someone like P, you can help them, but make sure you are the leader. Don’t follow them into sin. Rather, give them reason to want to know Jesus and His perfect love.