How To Break Bad Habits, Stop Generational Cycles of Bad Habits/Behavior

  When I say “cycle,” what comes to mind? Not something that needs broken, right? It’s probably transport. (To adults, too, with gas prices.)

There are good ones, like day & night, or seasons like camp. CBT has scholarships so don’t let money stop you. Camp is so fun! You can fill out forms I sent yourself if parents don’t have time; I know a few who do & parents add a bit. Tell me if you need more. Maybe you can get a friend to go with you for that exciting week.

I pray you grow in Christ even if you don’t go, but like church it’s best together.  But you can enjoy it at home together at cantonbaptist.org – the latest “but God…” message is great – or Facebook or Youtube. They need prayer for bus help, but Central, Liberty, & Massillon Baptist are all great & should pick you up. So would Antioch Baptist, newly where Youthquake used the gym. They seem okay, but are New King James (from Alexandrian text). You can take your KJV there. Or, you may get this as e-mail & think, “I’m 1,000 miles away, I’m not riding that far each week.” We understand, none of their buses go that far, anyway.😊

There are bad cycles too, rooted far deeper than habits, It takes God to break them. They come from problems passed down from others; even PTSD caused by others. A habit becomes a cycle when it repeats itself in others. A meme I saw a while back had it right – those who are determined to break these cycles will stop at nothing. It didn’t use these words, but they have the power of God on their side. I mention that in the prayer update - pray for some to choose to let God use them to break bad cycles. 

Take the Hatfields and McCoys. They feuded for so long, few remembered why they started. There were massacres and other awful things involved between their families. Some of you might have never heard of them, but take today’s typical drama and hike it up tenfold. Fictional feuds are almost always based on them. Well, or Romeo and Juliet, it’s just the Hatfields and McCoys were real.

It’s easy to see how the devil inspired that huge cycle of violence – you might have thought of John 10:10 right away, the devil coming to kill, steal, and destroy, but Jesus coming that we might have life and life more abundantly. But bad cycles can be a lot less obvious, too. Take a cycle of selfishness, if a person only does things that benefit them and doesn’t help others. They make everything about what they can get.

Sure, they can be told about eternal rewards. They can see they’re a sinner and trust Christ as their Saviour and really want to turn their lives around. But they have a problem. That old flesh nature is used to being selfish. Their thinking needs to change, and only God can do that. Scrooge, for instance (spoiler alert) could not, all on his own, automatically become just like a loving relative for Tiny Tim, who does not die. Perhaps he heard the Gospel as a youth (plausible) and the spirits remind him of his own mortality and his need for Jesus Christ to save him and change him inside.

It could be argued Scrooge’s home wasn’t awful. His dad had issues; but his sister – whose family included his nephew Fred, who tries to be very kind to Scrooge - says “Father “isn’t mean anymore” in what the first ghost shows him. Maybe their father got saved & Scrooge took up the way his dad used to act, but let’s ignore the how and focus on this – Scrooge isn’t that mean from day one of his life.

So, someone like Scrooge, whether or not he grew up in an awful home, makes their own decisions. However, remember how we talked about getting beyond the way someone is acting to understand them and their needs? Sometimes, there are deeply seated problems that influence why a person chooses to act like they do.

I say “influence” because we still choose everything we do. Cleaning our rooms, being respectful, and so on are good things, of course. We’re taught to do these things because it makes a family run smoothly and to build good habits. Our flesh might not enjoy taking out the garbage as kids, since we’re busy playing. But if I’d never learned that habit of taking out the trash, my house would be filthy. Other things are neutral. God won’t care if you’re a Buckeyes fan, for instance, but your parents or others influence that so you can share a common bond. It’s way more fun to cheer together.

Think about that garbage example, though. Let’s say some kid’s parents discourage taking out the trash by how they act – they leave food everywhere. Some homes even have roaches. I’ve had ants sneak in, lots of people do. I fight to make sure they stay out. But roaches only come in if a huge mess lingers for a long time. If a kid grows up with that, they can think it’s normal to have roaches, and not care if they get them

But they have a choice to take the trash out; they just don’t. They still see people who do, and can easily learn to. So, they could decide to do it on their own. They could say, “I grew up in a dump, but I will make sure my house is always clean.” They just have to be determined to break that cycle of a really filthy home.

That’s easy. Most people want to stay away from roaches. You might wish I’d warned you before because you’re eating while reading this, that’s how awful they are. But, imagine if someone grew up in a home that had something that’s not so obvious, where our flesh nature doesn’t find it so repulsive.

Bad cycles can include selfish behavior, not helping others, cursing, screaming all the time, and other things. It’s not just drunkenness or drugs or violence, though that’s what we often think of with bad cycles. They can be anything where people are torn down instead of built up. Yes, it’s true that we are all sinners in need of a savior. As we’ve seen, though, it’s important to share that in love and not be insulting others. And, it’s especially important children hear words of encouragement from their parents.

So, any bad cycle is one which steals, kills, or destroys. A person who is determined to break such a cycle, then, must be determined to do the opposite – to bring in a Christ-like attitude where they build others up.

This brings us to the prayer list – for you as well as for those we pray for.

We all have bad days - overly critical, angry, etc. The closer we draw to Jesus, the less likely we are to have them, and the more likely we are to be able to snap out of them if we start. So, most of us only have to pray that we can be Godly examples and do as I’ve been sharing, draw closer to Jesus so we can be more like Him. Maybe that means being friendlier to those who don’t have many friends at school, maybe that means being more thankful, maybe it just means doing your chores without fussing.

But some may have bad cycles in their lives. Maybe you don’t get up early because your whole family is up till 3 AM playing video games. It sounds silly, but I know of some like that. Hamione stayed up till all hours watching scary movies when little, till God helped her break that habit. Don’t try this at home. She had very unsettling nightmares and saw spooky things she had to call on Jesus to chase away - her dad’s girlfriend was doing it and so let her do it. Hamione cut off contact with her 1.5 years into her time in Youthquake. She realized the woman was a very bad influence. (And her oldest boy was a bully, too.)

That’s a great example of s cycle that might have formed, but didn’t, because she nipped it in the bud; plus her dad had broken up with the woman a couple years earlier, she just hung around her because she like having women to call “mom.”

But, regardless of whether you’re a night owl or a morning person, it’s important to grow in the Lord. Getting up to fellowship with others at church, if you can, helps. And, when we don’t have people setting that example for us, we can feel like we shouldn’t either. But plenty of bus kids never let that stop them. A friend 20 years ago told of a girl who carried her shoes and socks out to the Canton Baptist bus & put them on.

If someone is in a family where they always hear negative things, for instance, they can still put Godly thoughts like Psalm 139:14 or things of Phil. 4:8 in their hearts. If they only hear cursing, they can still love God and praise Him and not curse. It just takes more determination to not act like others around them.

If actions and attitude are the problems instead of words, the idea is the same. They can learn how to be Godly people and act in ways that please God. But, remember that garbage analogy? Our flesh nature makes us want to be selfish and not honor God. So, a person with a family that doesn’t care about being thankful or helping others will find it easy to listen to that flesh nature and be the same way if they’re not careful.

So, as you read and pray, ask God to point out areas where you can be a Godlier person, showing who Jesus is in your actions and your words. Then, pray for those in places with bad cycles. Ask God to give them strength and courage to break out of those cycles.

 Some bad cycles are in how people think. Some are in their words or actions. They are worse than habits since the people had bad role models. They might be good role models in other things, like cleaning their room, but bad in things like filthy language, for instance. So, measure everything according to God’s Word, and not any person.